![]() Simply ask, “What do you want to talk about now?” However, there is one very simple – and I must say, entertaining – method you can use to slow the rate at which your mind generates thoughts, so you can learn to be the observer. You have these temporary experiences (you are observing yourself having them) and you become free to act in spite of them.Īs you might imagine, this takes a bit of practice because it’s very easy to get involved in thoughts as they come into your awareness and since thoughts generate emotions, you can be easily pulled into a foul mood very quickly. ![]() This is particularly helpful when you’re having negative thoughts and feelings. Emotions are not a choice – you just have them but if you (experience) them instead of being them, you are no longer controlled by them. You act according to what you are – sad, afraid, etc.īecome More Attuned To Being The Observer Withīut… if you take the role of observer and use “I feel sad” or “I feel afraid” – when you phrase it this way, you are experiencing sadness or fear, but you are not controlled by it because you know that it’s just a feeling, and it will pass. Instead of saying, “I am sad,” say, “I feel sadness.” Instead of “I am scared,” say, “I feel afraid.” Do you see the difference? If you say “I am” something, you embody it and you are basically under the control of your thinking mind. To become more of an observer who actually has control over the actions that result from thoughts, you have to separate the two minds. It is also extremely tenacious, clinging to a thought loop as if it were the most important thing in the world. The thinking mind is very agile, jumping from one topic to another. It’s what happens anytime you are not fully engaged in what you’re doing: you’re bored at work and thinking about your girlfriend… you’re talking with someone but you have tuned them out and you’re thinking about how the heck you’re going to end this conversation without coming across as a rude jerk… you’re reading a textbook and your mind is a million miles away… and boy does it love to chatter when you’re awake in the middle of the night! The problem with the thinking mind is that the off switch is well hidden (yes, there are ways to turn off your thoughts, but that’s another article!). If you can non-judgmentally listen to the thoughts that your mind generates, you can quickly become aware of self-defeating patterns. Despite your best efforts, the “thought faucet” remains open and thoughts kept pouring out… interesting or important ones that you had to interact with.īut, observing your mind during meditation is the best way to get to know yourself. When you give up those self-limiting beliefs, you’ll be better equipped to reach your greatest potential.Īmy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do.If you have ever meditated and tried to quiet your mind, you know how challenging it can be. With practice, you can train your brain to think differently. If you’ve labeled yourself too wimpy to step outside of your comfort zone, force yourself to do something that feels a little uncomfortable. If you think you’re not good enough, do something that helps you to feel worthy. Challenge your beliefs. Perform behavioral experiments that test how true your beliefs really are.Acknowledging exceptions to the rule will remind you that your belief isn’t always true. Take note of any times when your beliefs weren’t reinforced. Here are two ways to challenge your beliefs: You can alter your perception and change your life. The good news is, you can change how you think. Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true. Remind yourself that you don’t have to allow those beliefs to restrict your potential. Or perhaps you’ve decided you’re a bad leader. Maybe you’ve declared yourself incompetent. Take a look at the labels you’ve placed on yourself. But optimistic thoughts lead to productive behavior, which increases your chances of a successful outcome. That’s not to say positive thoughts have magical powers. ![]() Instead, it might be your beliefs that keep you from performing at your peak.Ĭreating a more positive outlook can lead to better outcomes. When he does succeed at something, he’ll chalk it up to luck.Ĭonsider for a minute that it might not be your lack of talent or lack of skills that are holding you back. ![]() ![]() Someone who develops the belief that he’s a failure, for example, will view each mistake as proof that he’s not good enough. ![]()
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